3 Months

its been 3 months since i picked up a pen and wrote something. i'm not sure how i feel about this but i'm gonna share it with you, i'm at a breaking point in my life...so i'll share with u both of the things i wrote..one after another...i hope my change in vibe doesnt bug u out...

never was this part of the plan

i was done giving myself to this certain young man

i feel stripped, broken, way beyond repair

but never was my mind in dispair

you wasn't there, good thing for that

and to be honest, i will never fuckin take you back

won't look back, i ask myself who i was

who i am, i let me be defined by my choice in a man

realizing now i'm acting as you always wanted

perhaps its because you wasn't worthy of flaunting

me and every dimension i possess

nor did you deserve a place to rest

i thank you for now as i feel stronger

more hungry than ever, time is very clever

its the most natural healing remedy

but there seems to be no 'scrip for me

if time's in a bottle, i'd drink the whole fifth

follow it with a dutch filled with piff

i'll get by, matta fact, already have

Just leave now, i'll call you a cab

and shortly after getting that out...i wrote this...

seems like repetition

to get passed a certain point of recognition

can't read em, they either hitting or missing

the point between ignoring and listening

the medium that we communicate on

should be as arousing as me tickling your palm

moving up your arm while you lip the words to my favorite song

the fence is up, we on the same side

and if you wanna get over, you know i'm gon climb

we will reach the top alone, just hold my hand on the way down

break ground

its like i've been here before deja vu

but it feels different standing next to u

i'm acting all brand new, no demons just convictions

just some rules that outline my vision

of what things are and not should be

or what was or what could be

its the moments in which time doesn't exist

we resist, just to tease ourselves before we kiss

understanding you are not me, but as we

we can be

RECENT SHOWS

Finally getting back into concert mode!!!! I was in atlantic city this past weekend for KTU's Freestyle Free For All. now i know a lot of you 80's babies out there are gonna ask me what the hell i know about freestyle right??? well, your right, i wasn't brought up on the music, but i was put on several years ago and i haven't been able to stop listening ever since. It has been a dream of mine to go to one of these freestyle concerts, with a full line-up of heavy hitters, and straight two-step till i can't no more. the concert was everything i expected and more, the crowd was older as we seemed like the youngest ones there, besides the kids that got dragged to the concert by their parents. its funny because i ddint grow up in the era where this music was poppin, so i have a certain misconception about what all of these artists look like. to say the least, they sure dont look like they did in the 80's, but they definitely sounded like they did then. Debbie Deb, Rob Base, Stevie B, The Cover Girls, Lisa Lisa all blessed us with classics such as "It Takes Two" "Spring Love", "Show Me" and "I Wonder If I Take You Home." they all sounded exactly like the tracks. anyway, the fans of this music are straight die hard, they know every word and every dance they were doing back in the day, and they weren't afraid to let everyone know. my henny and cokes tasted real good to the sounds of the 80's, this music is timeless.

I also got the opportunity to go an "underground" show, if you will, which featured a few friends of mine: Oxy Morons, Prophit and Children of the Night. while i've been to their shows a number of times, i have been slackin lately and with the occasion of being off of work, it was only right to attend. the show began with a couple rock cover/original bands, i walked in while they were doing a rock version of "Empire State of Mind" which was truly tolerable but i would love to not hear that song for a really long time, or the Blueprint 3 for that matter, but thats another story...The next band, called Tres Bueno took the stage, and started to play the beginning of "Jesus Walks" which definitely got us hip-hop head's attention. After the tease, they began to sing songs about booger sugar which i can only guess means coke haha, it was quite amusing. They then went on to do a rock version of soulja boy's "Crank Dat" where they sang his lyrics awfully fast to a head-banging beat. The crowd reacted surprised but accepting of their humor. Oxy Morons then took the stage with a montage of new songs as well as some older ones that i've fallen in love with from earlier this year. two brothers and their mutual friend make up this group of music that i can only explain as a montage of hip-hop, ska, punk and rock. the ladies love these guys as they pair their lyrics with some smooth singing that seranaded the audience. Next up was Prophit. This guy is a straight crowd pleaser. his hard hitting songs paired with intricate lyrics keeps you intrigued as you try and feel his energy. its pretty easy considering he's always getting the audience involved in his performance. at one moment i looked back to see what the crowd was looking like, and all i saw was people smiling realizing how hard he goes every time hes on stage. He spit a freestyle that was full of clever punchlines taking a couple stabs at certain things which was a side i hadnt seen from prophit yet. Up next, Children of the Night. They stayed true to their 100% mixtape performing classics such as "Cartunes" and "Real Smoov" and they also gave us a good taste of their new LP that is hopefully coming out soon CUZ I NEED THAT! the change in sound from their first mixtape to the next will surely be different, as ive gotten to hear some of their new stuff which can onlybe described as very dark, but i guess its suitable for Children of the Night. they ripped the stage as they always do, if anyone is interested in going to these shows, u gotta hit me up, i'll def put u on. having gone to most of their shows throughout the summer, i can only say that they are getting better and better, as everyone will with time, and these are def some of the up and coming artists that ya'll should look out for

DEAR HIP-HOP

i always knew that when i started writing and rhyming that i would definitely have to do a "Dear Hip-Hop" track. its only right to give back to your inspiration, and with that said, here is my letter to Hip-Hop...

Dear Hip-Hop, 

Lyrically you reach the epitome

of what it means to be

to be incredibly

physically strong, to handle

all these songs

speaking the epiphanies 

too much of it is real to me

O coward conscience?

How dost thou afflict me?

Dear Hip-Hop, 

how did u claim me?

years later you tamed me

made me

the person i am

the person i wanna be

the compositions understand

why i smoke tree

why i wanna be alone

and when i wanna bone

when i need it to stop

or wish is was faster

all the punchlines followed by giggles and laughter

all the flows so sick someone call me a pasteur

i think ive died and gone to heaven

oh no its only the 7th 

bar

homie i was just chillin, drinkin

i was gon get right back

can't wait till you ask for me on the track

make some beautiful music of my own

oh Hip-Hop, why did you give me a home?

let me roam, i'm never alone

with these buds in my ear

nothing i fear, clouds left, now its clear

i know 2009 gon be my year

DA ART OF STORYTELLING

now while many emcees try to master the art of storytelling, i can only think of one person who was a damn master...SLICK RICK of course! this dude was the king of storytelling, so i decided to explore my own story...i dont ask you to understand it or even like it, i just ask that you listen to my story...

So indecisive, clouded my life is

ended a chapter, the words i'll miss

page 3080 i bump the speakers and ride

my rearview mirrors, i cant even figure

out the corner of my eye my mind replies,

"how do i look back and drive at the same time?"

my recent experience so unkind

i try and swallow what pride i have left

and know that a sane life is one with no regrets

fuck a mid-life crisis, who said 50

is the only time in life i can be iffy

take is to '04, i already OD'd and widthdrew

how many 17 year olds you know been through

not being able to put the money in the account

thought you was my friend? oh no a miscount

it comes with the job, either get arrested or robbed

oh? and those regrets i was talkin about

yeah i got one

i would have taken the hit and let you run

all i know is i'm the only one who 'fessed

now both our worlds are a mess

i hated Mary Jane, that bitch betrayed me

no longer were my days high and carefree

like the drugs, the money was addicting

i knew i shouldnt, but one more 20 wont hurt

i had to stop, step out of my zone of comfort

i think now i would never quit

but my p.o. stayed watchin me piss

8 months i went, then she called my name

she said "Tashy tash, can you come out to play?"

followed by, "i know you didnt forget..."

i said "what to roll the blunt i gotta get it wet?"

of course i remember, break it up, i got the dutch

here i go in the old routine smoking joints and such

now i'm back in, i dont feel its a sin

if anything it was something my life was missin

but back to the story, i needed to prove myself

do it alone, so i can lose myself

i applied, got in, and there were no more questions

NY was my destination

days pass, the questions arise, was it the end of my rhyme?

have i been defeated? NY i feel cheated

this tunnel so dark, eyes cant adjust

another date with NY is a must

i forgave him, granted him another chance

knew i wanted him to be my man

i took a bite of the big apple

fell into a deep trance, i was romanced

he asked with a hand, "Would you like to dance?"

i stressed the "yes" and took a deep breath

"This is a high you will never forget"

pop & lock, two-step, laugh till we cry

"Oh you gotta man?"...."Yeah, i'm in love with NY"

now 3 years later things couldnt be greater

school work done now i gotta chase that paper....

FREAK NASTYYYY

i tried my hand at a lil kim inspired piece, i wanted to see how nasty i could get without blushing hahah...here i go...

 

My lips you kiss

wish it was my hips you miss

as they sway from side to side

maybelline stay on the lash of my eye

tryna find that guy

to make my eyes lose track

make my shirt throw back

make my ass clap clap

but if its another acuerdo

will you love me in the morning?

make you go round

till you cant help but go down

got the chocolate melting quick

go thru withdrawal from my shit

tellin me "yo i got 5 on it"

i wanna split it

spill my guts and hit it

now i'm lit

oh no he started with the clit

and its starts to blow my mind

promiscuity always a crime

stay away from the grime

all the while i grind

i rise

see yourself on my eyes

as you gaze thru the haze 

that makes your heart feel wise... 

CONCERTS/SHOWS

I'm so excited to talk about the concerts i've been to in the last year. Honestly, i was never one for live shows because i've always associated shows with things like Summer Jam where there is absolutely NO intimacy between the audience and performers. anyway, before i get into that, i'm going to start where i really started to fall in love with live shows. it was october 2008. a couple of my girlfriends suggested we go to the Jay-Z and Lil Wayne concert. i had no reservations about this, but at the same time i had no expectations about the show. i'm thinking, 'aight, i know all of Jay's songs and Lil Wayne got some bangers, it couldn't be a bad time.' Ne-Yo and D-Block opened up for the show, Ne-Yo knocked it out the park with his fly songs complimented by even more amazing dancers. D-Block killed it too, but i did feel their set was super short, i know i could have listened to them all night. Now, i'm there and its time for Jay to come on, Lil Wayne took the stage prior but honestly i could have done without his performance because he seems like he's always heavily intoxicated and being sloppy doesn't make for a good show. Needless to say he was rapping lying down on stage, and when i say rapping, i mean he was mumbling in the mic. ANYWAY, Jay comes out, and starts with his collage of songs with Memphis Bleek and then went into bangers such as "Roc Boys", "Show Me Watch You Got" and the forever classic "Can I Live." DJ AM made an appearance and began to play throwbacks like "Can I Get A.." Beyonce made a cameo appearance and told everyone if they liked it then they shoulda put a ring on it. Jay then finished the concert by shouting out people in the audience. I believe its because this was my first time seeing Jay-Z that i really realized the catalog that this guy has. there was not a song that didnt come on that didnt make me feel like the first time i heard that shit. and all i wanted to do was scream the lyrics so he knew that i straight co-sign with his every lyric and rhyme. Regardless of perhaps liking some songs over others, i really applaud Jay for being able to not only keep us hooked for so long, which is damn near impossible nowadays, but he ALWAYS leaves you with wanting more. this was the beginning of my fetish with seeing people live, i wanted to fall in love with hip-hop again

Next was Boyz II Men. a definite throwback, i randomly googled to see if they even did shows anymore, and it turned out that they were going to be at B.B. King's. Let me tell you, out of all their songs, "Motown Philly" is seriously one of my favorites. THEY OPENED THE SHOW WITH THAT SONG! it was the perfect way to start off the show, it got me so hyped which was good because it was towards the end of the show where they went through their archive of ballads where everyone starts to wind down. These guys are even more amazing live than they are on their albums. i think singers have it so much harder than rappers because they are forced to sound exactly how the album does, and if not, they are deemed a fake. Boyz II Men are truly the definition of entertainers, not only do they sound amazing, but the pain and joy that you felt when you heard their music was obviously present at the concert, being that it was in a smaller venue, you had the best seat in the house anywhere. they sang their hearts out to "Mama", "End of the Road" and "Water Runs Dry" just to name a few. They went back to their Motown Days as we listened to the classic tunes paired with old school moves. there is something about singing that really touches my soul, when someone can move you with only a sound, a noise, a note, that's real talent. 

The next concert i went to was the I AM Tour with Beyonce. now i dont know if its just me, but i think Beyonce is one of the baddest bitches in the entertainment biz. this chick is so versatile its ridiculous, she can easily rock to an R&B beat with a song like "Dangerously In Love", she slams upbeat dance tracks like "Get Me Bodied", she murders jazzy joints like "Ego" and just recently she went to the house side of things with and Michael Jackson inspired beat with "Sweet Dreams." of course Jay made his cameo, which made me think about how amazing it must be to be on stage with your significant other who shares the same love of performance. but enough about him, her concert was a damn timeline of her entire career up until now, even with a Destiny's Child tribute where all of her dancers rocked out to the songs as Beyonce had a wardrobe change. i went with one other friend, we have a mutual respect for Beyonce so it definitely wasn't just a concert, it was an experience. There was a point where she was lifted off stage and suspended in air over the audience as she basically "flew" to the other, smaller stage in the middle of the floor audience. now, i know that Beyonce is a master when it comes to choreography, but i always wondered if we were in a club situation, if Bey could do her thang. they start playing reggae, and she starts singing "You dont love me and i know now"...tell me why this chick starts doin the dutty wine like ive never seen anyone before. this was the defining moment for me, she really is a bad bitch. the whole concert was everything i expected and more, she was definitely someone "i had to see before i die." 

thats what i got for now...i'm coming back soon with the brooklyn hip-hop festival, a couple jam sessions with The Roots, and i'm super excited about this upcoming Major Lazer concert....catch ya soon....

ALBUMS OF 2009

so there had been a trending topic among many of my friends and co-workers about the album of the year. while it may be way too soon to tell, i would just want to throw my 2 cents in about some of the album that came out this year and my opinion about them. hopefully you can relate, if not hopefully you can enjoy the difference in perspective. i will be adding more and more as i go along because i'll probably leave albums and artists out at first, give me some time, i'll surely touch on as much as i can.

in no particular order, i'm just going to speak as i remember them. i wanna first speak about the Asher Roth album. i know that everyone who has first heard him says he sounds like Eminem. i cant lie, i thought the exact same thing. but there is a great difference in "sounding" like someone, and "flowing" like them. although he did sound like Em, he definitely does not flow like Em. i honestly enjoyed the album, from creative beats on "Blunt Cruisin" to jazze pha's "Be By Myself", the album was a definite dedication to how much fun hip-hop music can be no matter what vehicle its comes in. you cannot judge a book by its cover just like you can't judge an emcee by his radio single. "I Love College", while a good single, is probably the worst song on the album, so don't judge him by that alone

the next album i wanted to talk about was, in my opinion, the most slept on "The Ecstatic" by Mos Def. this is truly hip-hop at its finest. no gimmicks or purposely catchy hooks, Mos stays true to himself with amazing producers and classic cameos from Slick Rick to Talib Kweli. while this may be classified and "head-bobbin" music versus "club bangers", Mos seems to draw me into a different dimension with his futuristic beats paired with his vintage flow. while i could let this album ride out in its entirety, i do have a soft spot for certain songs such as "auditorium", "casa bey" and "history"...you know what scratch that, all the songs are worthy of being my fave.

Many comebacks this year have backfired according to many of the hip-hop sites, claiming that the artists have not lived up to their potential. among the most anticipated, Eminem's "Relapse" is something we hip-hop heads have been waiting for for a while. now perhaps because i grew up with someone who watch Em's every move, i may have more of a predisposition to like his work. i do believe that his flow has changed drastically compared to his previous albums, he does not seem as angry or disturbed as he once was, which was what made his music so powerful. we could listen to Em and think, damn i got it bad but this dude has PROBLEMS! and i believe it was his realness and his brick wall that made us take him with all his flaws. i'll admit, i would love to hear the drug-addict rap again versus the sober Em, but i understand his wanting to better himself. if there is anything i can say to people who didnt really feel "Relapse", listen to his diss track to mariah, or his recent cameo on "Forever" with kanye, drake and wayne and i sware all Em needed was a little fire under his ass to snap him back into his classic flow. Em will forever be in my top 5.

on a lighter note, the Maxwell album was also something i was looking forward too. as hard as  like my rap, is as soft as i like my R&B. with that said, i was very surprised that the album only had 9 tracks. at the same time, every single song is a single in itself. of course Maxwell is known for his ballads, he has so many classic two-steppin songs that i felt like the album represented summer very well. the ballads, although they may have been inspired by heartbreak, had a sense of hope and serenity. the faster tracks were definitely "feel-good" tracks that complimented his voice beautifully. Another slept on album for sure, if you are trying to hold on to summer, you must cop "BLACKsummers Night"

Skipping some, i'm dying to talk about the Blueprint 3, Jay-Z's anticipated addition to the Blueprint series. Now, while everyone had a very strong opinion about the album, which went from one extreme of hating it to the other extreme of loving it, you can't help but make you decision based on comparing Jay to his previous projects. What i can say is this, he is not the same person he was on "Reasonable Doubt", nor is he even the same person from "The Black Album" which i think is the reason why everyone's opinion seems to be iffy and negative. i have gone back and forth about the album and how i feel about it, and what i can say is that while there are a couple songs i could live without, overall it lives up to his level of artistry in that he is constantly trying something new. Whether it be the "Forever Young" track, which in my opinion is a classic already, or "Empire State of Mind" which honestly makes you think your from New York. Jay's music has that effect of wanting to close your eyes and see what he sees when he rhymes. you imagine the streets that he raps about and the encounters he faces. i believe it is not that his flow has changed, but the content, and we must accept that while people change, so does their craft and we must take it as is.

Oh man, where the hell do i start with this new Ghostface album? The Wizard of Poetry at Emerald City is literally ONE of my favorite albums of 2009. I can only speak for myself, but if you know a hip-hop head that happens to be a female, and you wanna bag her up? WHOOOO this album will do it. Not only does Ghost get so nasty on the tracks, and when i say nasty i mean straight up graphic dirty sex talk, no innuendos, he soothes my ears with smooth beats and R&B cameos from John Legend, Lloyd, Estelle and surprisingly Andrienne Bailon (Cheetah Girls). He stays true to his gritty form while still focusing on topics like telling a girl to stop playing games to a song called "Stapleton Sex" where he graphically raps about his encounter with another female. There is something about this album that really turns me on, whether it be relaxing nature of the beats or perhaps i secretly love those thug rugged love lyrics that Ghost spits that gets me hype. Either way, he definitely did this one for the ladies, and it was about time someone did a project for us that wasn't more than a single on an entire rap album. 

METAPHORS AND PUNCHLINES

i was recently listening to a song that was strictly a song of "i'm this, you're that." i felt compelled one day on the train to see how long i could go with this theme....this is how far i got...

you're the student, i'm the teacher

you all followers, i'm the leader

everybody players, i'm the coach

ya'll delinquents, and i'm the po

you the worker, i'm the boss

oh, you don't know hip-hop?

your loss

i dominate you, you're submissive

you in the jail cell and i'm watchin you pissin

i'm the performer, you just the crowd

can't help but smile when you scream my name loud

i'm like puffy, you mase

i'm the shot, you the chase

i'm the 16, you the hook

you the movie, i'm the book

i'm professor X and you magneto

you all obvious, i'm incognito

don't worry about me tho

wait till they all find out

your new single was my sample

you win one round, i take the battle

i'm the villian, you the damsel

you in distress, i take a rest

i'm the final homie you just the test

oh you holdin a protest?

no need i'm the revolution

no actors anywhere and you still shooting

i'm ridng out while you in central booking

got too many men to count

and you still looking

dinner on the table and you still cooking

haha that last line makes me laugh...hope you enjoyed that